Intro

Let’s get out the boring blah blah first. I will always address my children as “child A,B,C,D or Children” for their safety as well as my husband will also always be addressed as my husband. *

Wow! I am really doing this and I am really excited! I want this to be a safe place for myself as well as you! Because loving an addict can be extremely isolating. I know in the very beginning I was always so scared just to say “my husband is an alcoholic.” I remember the first time he went into rehab. I told everyone minus his immediate family who knew that he was going to a mental health facility. Which in the grand scheme of things wasn't necessarily a lie. But when my husband only lasted a week at that rehab the story of “Oh! A week and he's feeling so much better came out of my mouth.” another lie I had to tell. One thing about me is the last thing I ever wanted was for ANYONE to know that my husband was an addict. Because I felt embarrassed, I felt like everyone would judge me. My friend, if you are feeling that way know I once was you and I kept it very hush hush. I was told many times bringing it to the light would make it worse. I remember being told “please do not post this on facebook.” by one of his family members. Yes because let me blast “HEY GUYS MY HUSBAND IS IN REHAB” that's a real great conversation starter. 

Let’s take this story back to 2019. I was freshly 19 and just started college. I met my now husband on one of the swipe sites. Truly when I met him he was the perfect man. He was the very best boyfriend. This man would have never raised his voice at me; he deeply cared about my feelings. I felt like I met my soulmate. So fast forward to 2020 we got engaged and got a sickness that took away our taste and smell that we now all know is COVID at the time we did not know that. Then COVID shut the world down which then meant me and my husband saw each other a lot and we loved every second of it. We planned a beautiful wedding and got married in 2021. When the words “I Do” came out of my mouth I really said “I Do” to the bottle which is where the name married 2 the bottle came from. My Husband on our wedding day was plastered. He was so far gone. That should have been my first red flag because why was everyone drinking at 9am? I was then told that my dad and uncle and his groomsmen were giving him moonshine like it was water. I looked past it because alright its our wedding people get drunk at weddings and especially when you have an open bar. My husband sobered up right before I walked down the aisle. If I knew then what I know now I would go back and say to my freshly 21 year old self that you should learn how to love yourself first and to turn around. 

That was just the beginning of the nightmare that I have now lived in for 3 years. After we got married some time passed then he started randomly drinking nothing too alarming. Then our children came into the picture. Life was good.  Until it wasn’t…